bitch i might be isnt even funny but im reblooging it you know y cus its SSAAAATUURDAAY

hello tumnlr friends

anglosexual:

chickensandwich:

i hate when couples say “we’re pregnant” because there is a very slim chance that they are both pregnant

foodchewer:

*hides good snacks from family members*

peregr1ne:

my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him

basedgodniall:

*calls family member by mom’s request*

*silently prays it goes to voicemail*